


What a Mess: Sort Out your Feelings

by TurboToast



Category: Control (Video Game)
Genre: Confessions, F/F, First Kiss, Mutual Pining, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26425276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurboToast/pseuds/TurboToast
Summary: Emily is just being nice with her compliments. That's it. But despite that, Jesse decides to give her some flowers and come clean about what Emily means to her, because if she doesn't, it'll eat her up.And then she puts her foot in her mouth.
Relationships: Jesse Faden/Emily Pope
Comments: 11
Kudos: 121
Collections: Discord Community Archive





	What a Mess: Sort Out your Feelings

“How is my favorite Head of Research doing?” Jesse asked after she knocked on the board room’s increasingly cluttered table.

Was that too much? Too familiar? Too late.

The Head of Research in question, Dr. Pope — Emily — barely turned around from the whiteboard, raising her marker briefly as a greeting. “Jesse!” She sounded happy. “I was trying to come up with a graphical representation of both the Hiss and Hedron resonances and, more importantly, how they interact with molecular structures — like the human genome, for example.” And off she went, gesticulating at sketches and bullet points on the whiteboard.

“Maybe it helps us understand better; Some people are more visual learners after all. But I can’t seem to think of anything accurate enough, and then there’s also a non-negligible possibility that visualizing it could influence it in some unpredictable way and — I’ve been rambling again. Sorry.” She turned around and clicked the cap of the marker shut.

After a while at the Bureau, Emily’s ramblings started making sense. If that was a good thing or a bad thing Jesse couldn’t answer yet, but one thing was clear: Emily must have been told to shut up far too often.

What kind of monster hit the brakes on unbridled curiosity and wonder like that?

Jesse used to be one of them. She sighed.

“Emily — two things. One: Maybe the board room isn’t the best place to test out if making a drawing of Hedron resonance will do something to or with it,” she said, putting on her best sympathetic smile. “Two: You didn’t answer my question.”

“Oh. You have a point there,” Emily said and drew her brows together. “All things considered, I’m fine, I think?” She started counting things off on her fingers with the thankfully closed tip of the marker. “I’ve slept, I’ve eaten, I’m talking to you… Shoot. I forgot my coffee.”

Maybe, if Jesse brought up the potted, long-leafed flowers she was holding under her arm now, Emily wouldn’t notice the blush creeping into her cheeks.

Then again, this was Emily. And because this was Emily and hints didn’t work, she probably wouldn’t notice a blush either.

Took too long to respond. Emily was already looking at her expectantly.

“I’m glad,” Jesse managed and swallowed. “Listen, uh… I know Ahti’s been gone for a while now, but before he left, there was an errand he had me run that sorta stuck with me.”

“Ahti?”

“The janitor.” Weird how nobody knew him by name. “He had me go talk to plants in Central Research. Not water them, or snip off brown leaves. Talk to them.”

Emily’s eyebrows drew together. “Huh. You know, I heard rumors, but I never paid them much mind. Why?”

“He said they were good listeners, that you could tell them anything. Didn’t elaborate or anything.” Jesse put the plant and its pot under her other arm. Its stem flopped around weakly. Where was she even going with this?

“But you did it anyway.”

Jesse nodded. “Felt super awkward at first, but it actually worked.”

“That’s interesting!” Emily’s face lit up and shed all of its previous skepticism. “Worked how? Did they grow? Start glowing? Change color?”

That spark in her eyes made it difficult for Jesse not to just grin at her dumbly. It was amazing how quickly Emily could switch gears, and how with all that intellect, she still came up with ridiculous ideas like that. Well, ‘ridiculous’ was relative in the Oldest House, but still.

With an amused huff, Jesse shook her head. “No, they just… kinda pick themselves up again.”

“Huh. Huh!” The skepticism was back in Emily’s eyes. “Very interesting.”

No more hemming and hawing. Jesse had come here for a reason.

“I got you one of them for your office,” she said finally, holding the pot towards Emily. “Cleared Darling’s stuff out — don’t worry, it’s all sorted away neatly.”

Emily’s gaze darted from the plant’s slack, wilting leaves to Jesse, then to the board room’s door, and back to the plant. “It looks so sad — wait, my office? And you sorted Dr. Darling’s stuff away? By yourself?” Her voice almost doubled over, and she didn’t close her mouth when she stopped talking, looking for more words.

Jesse shrugged. “Yeah. His system was ‘piles with a rough overarching theme’ and then I just told staff to put it into folders,” she said. “Gotta learn to delegate, being the Director and all.”

“I suppose it couldn’t have made finding anything much harder in that mess.” Emily smirked and took the pot with the plant from Jesse’s hands. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you a nice, bright spot right by my desk.” She talked to the plant as if it were a puppy or a small child.

As if she couldn’t get any more adorable.

And that was a thought about Emily talking to a damn plant. In the 17 years Jesse had spent looking for Dylan and the FBC, there hadn’t been much time left for relationships. Normalcy ended for her on the dump in Ordinary, and she hadn’t realized how much keeping that facade up for people had drained her.

“Normal” people just looked at you funny if you said you went to different worlds with a slide projector and that government agents kidnapped your brother. But here? Every second document on any given desk within the Oldest House’s shifting walls told a similar story.

People took stuff like that in stride here. Just like now, when the plant’s leaves became a bit less floppy and a lot greener, and Emily’s reaction was just one of her lovely, pearly grins.

It would’ve been very inappropriate if Jesse stepped closer and brushed that single stray strand of hair behind Emily’s ear. Good thing she had some self-control. The last thing she needed was a cryptic message from the Board about **< workplace harrassment/provocation>**.

Yeah, she was falling, without a parachute or the ability to levitate to slow her down.

“Looks like it’s happy that I promised it a new home,” Emily said. “We shouldn’t keep it waiting.”

The sector elevator’s doors slid closed.

“Have you tried what happens if you tell them something bad?” With her lips pursed to one side, Emily mustered the plant up and down. ”And do you know what species it is?”

Jesse shook her head. “No, and no. Couldn’t bring myself to try.” She looked Emily in the eyes. Almost forgot what she wanted to say over the realization of how blue they were. “Please don’t try.”

“Got it.”

“And please don’t try to find the best words for optimal plant health either, okay? It’s just a plant that likes being talked to.”

Slowly nodding, Emily pressed her lips together. “That _is_ the next thing I would’ve tried,” she said quietly. “You know me well, Jesse.”

Not nearly well enough.

The elevator doors opened again, and Jesse’s stomach felt like a rock.

Fuck.

Did she take that the wrong way?

Must have. Jesse ran down her mental list, and with every item, she wanted to curl up more. Emily had been excited about her resonance visualization thing, but instead of getting excited too and telling her not to be sorry, Jesse had jumped straight to telling her not to do that in the board room. Then, she’d given her flowers, but she’d used that to tell her she’d cleared out Darling’s office for her — which was farther away from the Director’s office than the board room.

And to top it all off, she’d told Emily of all people not to test something for fun.

Talk about putting her foot in her mouth, sideways. No wonder Emily looked so dejected.

If Ahti had been here, he’d probably have launched into a Finnish tirade of idioms, hunched over his mop.

The walk to Emily’s office was a long one. The women’s footsteps echoed through the empty hallways. Even the few Hiss Agents that remained floating here and there were oddly quiet. Rangers posted at doorways saluted Jesse routinely, only resuming their chatter once they assumed she was out of earshot. They never were; The Oldest House’s concrete walls let their words bounce far, like a basket full of tennis balls dropped down a staircase.

Jesse didn’t say anything, and neither did Emily. The plant drooped as it did before.

Eventually, the door to Emily’s office came up. “Dr. Emily Pope - Head of Research,” it said, the sign already changed.

Jesse opened the door for her.

“I barely recognize the place,” Emily said. “It’s like Dr. Darling was never here.” There was something bittersweet in her voice.

Leaning on the desk, Jesse offered her an equally bittersweet half-smile. “You can make it yours now,” she said. Fuck empty phrases. She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for just now, what I said in the board room and the elevator — I was being super rude, even though I didn’t want to be. I really didn’t want to give you the impression that I didn’t want you near me, because…” She froze.

Emily blinked at her.

Stop circling around it like a cat circles around hot porridge, Ahti would’ve said. Probably in Finnish, with a curse at the end.

“Because I like you a lot.” There. “And not just because I think you’re brilliant and nice and competent and a pleasure to work with — “ she pushed off the desk, wringing her hands “ — but also because I think you’re very cute.”

Silence spread in the office for a moment.

Emily put the plant down and opened her mouth before she’d figured out what she wanted to say. “Are you saying you’re into me?” She spoke slowly and almost whispered. Her usually fairly pale cheeks had taken on a nice rosy tone.

With her head ducked between her shoulders, Jesse nodded meekly. Her chest felt like it might burst from how hard her heart hammered inside it.

Step by step, Emily came closer, until she was definitely, well and truly inside Jesse’s personal space.

“I— wow. I, um, I— accept your apology, and… thank you!” she stammered, gently taking Jesse’s hands into her own. “I… like you a lot too, and definitely not just in the professional sense, I just never thought you’d like me back that way— “

“But I do,” Jesse interjected. “And, me neither. It’s so stupid!” There went the thin veil of professionalism.

Emily tilted her head to one side. “Right!?”

She was so close. The fabric of her blouse rustled when she moved, and she wore a flowery perfume.

“Hey, do you think we’d be going too quickly if we— “

“— kissed?” Emily took another step closer and rested her forehead against Jesse’s. “Absolutely not.” She whispered that last part.

Their noses brushed past each other, and then their lips touched for the first time, ever so gently. Emily’s were soft and warm and going in for seconds, this time longer and with more hunger.

Jesse lost herself in the kiss. It was like the beginning of the answer to a question she’d held forever. And now she even got to brush that strand of hair behind Emily’s ear, and Emily didn’t mind one bit.

“So, what are you doing after work?” Jesse asked. “I really think we should get to know each other in a less professional setting too, y’know.”

Emily chuckled and raised her eyebrows. “You have a funny definition of ‘professional setting,’ Jesse.” She traced the lapels of Jesse’s blazer with her fingertips. “I was planning to order pizza and watch movies tonight, and I think we could do that à deux just as well.”

“Then I wouldn’t mind if you directed me for a change. To your place.” Jesse bit her lower lip.

“Oh, smooth,” Emily murmured. “I would like that.” She paused for a moment. “Shoot! I totally forgot about the plant. Do you just… tell it whatever? Does it have to be plant-based?”

Jesse shook her head softly. “No, just go for it.”

“Okay. Well.” Emily hunkered down in front of the plant. “Hey, I think you’re beautiful and you bring some much-needed life into this place,” she said.

As if by magic, the green returned to the plant’s leaves, and its stem straightened up before the blossom at its tip opened its crimson petals up.

And somehow, Emily might have meant Jesse with that compliment too.

**Author's Note:**

> But they all know Jesse is dynamite - they're right~
> 
> I had a plot bunny and I couldn't not write this. Even though I have a bunch of other projects that I haven't updated in forever. Which I am still working on.
> 
> Thanks to Taff for being a lovely beta and letting me play this game!


End file.
